nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
