You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
