They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize