I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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