I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
