i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
