I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
