I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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