that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize