he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
