sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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