So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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