are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
