Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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