I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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