I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
