We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
