Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
