Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
