And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
