Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
