im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
