Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
