I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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