I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
