your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
