It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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