Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
