I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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