Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm both gender and math confused
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
