the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
