The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
