You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
