The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
