so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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