Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
