She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
