I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
