i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
