I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
