i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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