mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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