The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
