3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
