She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
