Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
