I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize