sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
