So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
