How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
