I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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