All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
