Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
