I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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