A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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