I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
