Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
