I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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