We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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